The presence of children is one reason commonly cited by unhappy couples who decide to stay together. However, staying in a toxic relationship may actually do more harm to your kids than getting a divorce. California law generally allows both parents to maintain a relationship with their children whether they are married or not.
Children emulate what they see
Children who grow up in homes that feature a lot of stress may be vulnerable to developing anxiety themselves. Furthermore, children who see their parents fighting on a regular basis may assume that yelling, insults or giving the silent treatment is how adults resolve conflicts. This may have a significant impact on their ability to regulate their emotions or develop healthy relationships with others.
Your kids know what’s going on
There is a good chance that your kids are aware that you aren’t happy in your relationship. Therefore, announcing your plan to seek a divorce may not necessarily come as a surprise to them or as something that would hurt their feelings. It’s possible that your kids will actually feel a sense of relief or happiness knowing that you won’t be in an environment that makes you sad or angry.
You should also keep in mind that two people who weren’t happy while together can actually make a great parenting team after a divorce. This is because neither party is feeling the burden that comes with feeling stuck in an unfulfilling relationship.
The decision to get a divorce may be a tough one even if you don’t have kids. However, if you do, it’s important to consider their needs as it relates to what you expose them to. In a divorce settlement, you may receive child support payments as well as custody or visitation rights.