If your ex has remarried in California, it can create an awkward situation for you and your children. While you don’t have to be friends with your former partner’s new spouse, it helps if you two have a pleasant working relationship. No matter how you feel about the situation, she’s now a part of your kids’ lives, and they’re a part of hers.
Making room for a change
Keep in mind that things will be different after the divorce, and adaptation is key. Even if it’s tough to deal with your ex’s new partner at first, you might even find yourself getting along with her after a while. Patience is crucial since these relationships take time, and it’s helpful to accept that it will sometimes be a struggle.
As you experience the range of emotions that comes with trying to accept your kids’ stepmom, keep in mind that your children are paying attention. Don’t unload your resentment on them because this will only strain the relationship from every direction.
Make the first move
When it comes to interacting with the new stepmom, don’t be afraid to act first. If you think that she’s being standoffish, she might just be mirroring your behavior, or she might be nervous. It’s not always easy to know how to act since there is no playbook for these kinds of situations. When in doubt, you can always just try to put yourself out there.
A little effort goes a long way, and small gestures can have a big effect. It doesn’t take much whether it’s a simple thank you card or a small gift. It can just be something that acts as a gesture, showing that you’re on the same team.
If you’re having trouble accepting your kids’ stepmom, remember that some amount of awkwardness is perfectly natural. It helps to think about what’s going to be best for your kids – and the rest of the family too.