An Austrian neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, theorized that our personalities develop from our early childhood experiences and family dynamics. Many other studies have found links between parents’ behavior and how their children act as an adult. You may have even noticed this yourself in that there are certain mannerisms that you’ve probably observed in your children. This makes many people in California wonder if a similar situation also applies to marriages. Below are what some experts have gleaned from their research.
The fact of the matter
Divorce is a complex life event that’s influenced by so many different factors. The life you are living will not be the same as the one your children will live. They will have different experiences, relationships and values that may lead to different results. Therefore, you can’t say that your divorce will necessarily mean that your children will cut ties with their future partners.
However, there are studies that have shown a slightly elevated risk of divorce among children whose parents separated. This is especially common in a high-asset divorce where they get first-hand exposure to the stress and difficulty associated with the process.
Also, if parents have bad communication habits and other unresolved issues, children are more likely to replicate this behavior when it comes to their own relationships. These may include emotional outbursts, avoidance of conversations or blaming each other for problems that arise.
There are also claims of “intergenerational transmission” of divorce. This means that children have a higher likelihood of getting divorced if one of their grandparents or other close relatives has been through this process.
While there are various factors that can influence your children’s propensity to divorce, it’s important to remember that their story is not pre-written. They can learn from your experiences, and you can guide them to better handle relationships and conflicts. Nurturing good communication skills, imparting the value of compromise and teaching them to maintain a healthy balance in their relationships are all ways you can help. Remember, parents are the first teachers, and through your support, your children can build successful and lasting relationships, even if there is a history of divorce in your family.